A Grateful Heart...

My husband always tells me the first impression I made on him that really stood out as different from other women...  I was happy.

Sure, I know what you're probably thinking.  Yeah, right.  That's the FIRST thing?  I'm not saying it was the first thing he noticed....we all know what visual beings men are.  I'm saying it was the first impression.

The first time he told me that he could tell I was happy, I was completely confused.  How could he possibly have seen that in me when I didn't see that in myself?  

I think back to that time in my life and I was such a hot mess.  I was in a job I'd been at for a decade and a half, living paycheck to paycheck.  I lived alone and felt unfulfilled.  I'd chosen bad relationships with the wrong men.  In my mind I didn't feel happy.  

What I know now is that I felt unsettled.  I felt insecure.  I felt restless.  I had a little voice in my head telling me every day that I wasn't living up to my full potential.  What I know now is just because my life wasn't anywhere near where I thought it would be at 31 years old...didn't make me an unhappy person.  I'd always been optimistic.  I just saw no way out of my current situation.  I hadn't yet learned to get out of my own way.  

One thing that helped me change my life was taking responsibility for my life.  I quit blaming others for my current situation, which is the easy way out.  We get really good at blaming others.  I could have just settled for my unsettled life.  I could have blamed my parents for not giving me more guidance.  I could have blamed my boss for not paying me more money.  I could have blamed it on my weaknesses.  I could have blamed just about anyone or anything, because I THOUGHT I was doing everything I could...I was working hard.

But was I?  When I look back now, I think hell no.  Sure, I worked at my job.  I was extremely good at it.  I did what was expected of me.  I felt like I didn't have any extra time in my day to change my life.  I was stuck.  I felt I had no control.  My life was just happening to me.  So. Many. Excuses.  I was full of excuses back then.

One thing that had changed shortly before that day I met my husband was I had been really working on ME.  I was searching for SOMETHING.  I was reading more books.  I was learning to focus on gratitude.  I was learning ways to take control of my life.  I was learning I was worthy.  I was learning that if I wanted my life to change, it had to start with ME.  After all, the only person we can control is ourselves.  That small shift, even though I didn't know how my life could get better....BELIEVING that it could...and would, changed everything for me.

Fast forward to now.... there are days when I can just be driving down the road, by myself, and I'll smile.  I smile because I'm happy.  I'm very aware of my happiness today.  I'm so grateful that I have the life that I do.  I'm grateful that I have the amazing, loving, supportive husband that I do.  I'm grateful that I get to live where I do.  I'm grateful for my health.  I'm grateful for my ambition.  I'm grateful for my positive friends.  I'm grateful I found my creative outlet.  I'm grateful I get to help others.  I'm grateful that I didn't settle for less.

I never take my life for granted.  As a young child I was extremely unhappy.  That unhappiness was true.  I never felt security as a child and was anxious all the time.  I had an unstable childhood, was extremely introverted, and was fearful of everything.  My parents would take me to a psychiatrist as a child because they didn't know why I was so unhappy.  They'd prescribe me valium, which I'd refuse to take.  I knew that wasn't the answer, even at a young age. 

Instead of dwelling on any of those times, today I choose to focus on gratitude.  When we focus on the things we are grateful for, we cannot focus on anything negative.  It also brings more and more things we want into our lives.  Gratitude has been the key for me.  Every morning I start my day with gratitude.  I start my day with my 5 Minute Journal to make sure I focus on 3 things I'm grateful for and 3 things I'll do that day to make it great.  They also have an app so I can use it on the go.  

Happiness is a decision.  Having a grateful heart can be the key to getting there.  

Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get what you want in life.  If you want it bad enough, you'll make it work.  If you don't want it bad enough, you'll make excuses.  

This blog post was inspired by all that is going on in our country today with the recent election.  While I refuse to get political, because honestly, I don't think there was a good choice in either candidate, I will say this... I'm disappointed at all the spewing negativity in the streets and in my newsfeed.  Is that really making the world a better place?...or is that feeding the fire?  I don't have time for negativity in my life anymore.  Be the solution.  STOP blaming others.  The only person you can control is yourself.  I encourage you to stop focusing on others and start focusing on yourself.  What can YOU do to make the world a better place?  Go do that.  Stop the hate.  Stop the unkind words.  Stop the judgement...everyone has their own story and you might not know what that is.  Help others.  Lead by example.  Be grateful.

-Other blog posts you might enjoy:  The Law of Attraction -- 5 Steps to Choosing Your Best Life -- Are You a Hero...

5 Steps to choosing Your Best Life

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Are you living your Best Life?  I was nowhere near living my Best Life, even just a couple of years ago.  I want to share with you how I got from there... to here, on the path to living my Best Life. 

I spent so much of my life paralyzed In fear.  Standing still.  Not changing.  

I finally found myself wondering how I got here?  Why wasn't my life as awesome as I knew it should be?  Why weren't things going my way?  Why wasn't I lucky?

One day it hit me.  I was settling for everything in my life.  I was letting life happen to me.

About 15 years ago, when I started learning about the Law of Attraction, it helped me understand why my life looked the way it did.  I did that.  That was on me.  It became so clear to me why my life looked the way it did.  Once I realized that I created the life I had then, I knew I had the power to create the life I wanted.  ...but I was going to have to make some changes.

I want to share the 5 steps that really helped me to turn my life around.  I think they can help you too.

5 STEPS TO CHOOSING YOUR BEST LIFE:

1. STOP BEING A VICTIM.  I put this one first for a reason.  You can't really move on to the other steps until you accomplish step 1.  Maybe you weren't dealt the best cards in life...I certainly wasn't.  Some of the most amazing people I know weren't...but that isn't what stops you from success.  What stops you from success is not owning up and taking responsibility for YOU.  Don't get caught up in blaming others for your life.  Even though it may start out that way, YOU get to choose if you stay there... or change.  I used to let my past, or my current situation, define who I was.  You have to change your story.  What's possible?  Just because you started out at point A....doesn't mean you have to reside at point A your entire life.  Think of all the places life could take you, if you just broke free from that victim mentality.  Take responsibility for your life and know that you have the power to change it...improve it.  Once you do, trust me, your life will change.  Think for a moment.... what might me holding you back?
2. START FOCUSING ON YOUR STRENGTHS.  This was a big one for me.  I used to spend so much time focusing on my weaknesses, that I couldn't even begin to see my strengths.  I'm quite introverted and I used to see that as such a weakness.  I spent so much time wishing I could change that one thing about myself that it consumed me.  It took that desire to change...accomplishing step 1... to finally turn that weakness into a strength.  I started learning more about myself.  I took a Myers Briggs personality test and I learned that I'm a strong INFP, which is only 4% of the population.  It helped me so much to learn more about what my strengths and weaknesses are.  When I spoke to the expert on the phone after she evaluated me, she said she loves getting results that are so confirmed and definite.  She said, "I hope you're an entrepreneur...if not, you should be."  I was so happy to know I'm finally on the right path in my lifeI learned that while I may be a strong introverted "feeler", I also do have an extroverted side.  I'm an extroverted "intuitive".  I have a very strong intuition, or "sixth sense" for knowing what others need. Turns out I have a very strong creative quality too.  She explained that I love helping others, I have extremely strong values, and I'm happiest when I'm trying to make the world a better place.  Princess Diana, Johnny Depp...and many authors like J.K. Rowling, J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Virginia Woolf, Orwell and Shakespeare are all on this list.  I'm pretty okay with my personality traits now that I know what good company I'm in;)   I also learned more about my weaknesses so that I'm aware of them.  I learned that cleaning is mundane to me and organization is not my forte.  Yep, the test pretty much nailed me.  She explained that you don't necessarily have to change your weaknesses, but being more aware of them helps us know where we need to fill in the gaps and get help.  We can't be all the things!  These are the things I need to learn to delegate.  (Yep, the personality test gave me permission to get a housekeeper without guilt, LOL....and a bookkeeper)  This will help me know the team I need to build around me to have success because I'm good at some things, and not good at others.  Taking a personality test not only helped me realize my strengths and understand my weaknesses, it helped me understand myself, accept myself.  Am I still an introvert?  Absolutely.  The difference is... today I wouldn't change that quality about myself for the world.  I told you my story in this section to help you see that what we need to gain is CONFIDENCE.  What are you good at?  What do you do in your spare time that excites you and makes you feel alive?  What do you know a lot about?  We all have strengths... something to give.  Focus on your strengths and quit allowing your weaknesses to hold you back from being great!  When you do this, you just might find your purpose in life!
3.  LEARN TO SET GOALS.  This is key.  This step cannot be skipped if you want to have success and live your Best Life.  There is a right way and wrong way to set goals.  Don't get me wrong, setting any goal is better than not setting one, but if we know how set goals correctly, we'll have more success.  I've actually already written "How to Set Goals in 5 Simple Steps"...so I'll let you read that post to learn more about the "how to".  The important thing to know is, without goals, you can't have success.  It's like setting off on a roadtrip without a destination.  Unless you want to drive around aimlessly, letting life happen to you, you need to set specific goals.  Trust me on this.  We truly can achieve anything we put our mind to, but we need a plan to get there.
4. FACE YOUR FEAR.  Many people never get past this one.  Everyone is afraid of something.  That something is failure for many people.  We've all seen the quote, right?  "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?"  Remember when you were a kid and you had all of these hopes and dreams of what you wanted to do in your life?  What happened to those?  Where'd those dreams go?  I was actually a terrified child... pretty much afraid of my own shadow, but I still had hopes and dreams inside me.  Even as I became a young adult going to work every day for someone else... I had this little voice inside my head telling me "You should be doing more."  I had settled for the job I had.  I'd backed into that career.  I happened to be great at it.  Even though I was great at it, does that mean I needed to stay great at it for 17 years?  Yep, that's how long I stayed...with that little voice nagging me every single day.  I faced a big fear when I started my blog in 2014.  I had no idea what I was doing when I started, I just knew I was on the right path by how happy it made me feel.  That voice was finally quiet.  2015 was my year of "YES".  I decided that in order to grow, I needed to start facing my fears.  Fears that I knew had held me back from living my Best Life.  I told myself that in 2015, when something came along that I would normally say "no" to.... I'd say "yes" and figure it out.  No more taking the easy road.  Like many people, my biggest fear is public speaking.  I'd gone to great lengths to avoid it my entire life.  There were even times in high school when I took a lower grade just so I didn't have to face it.  I'd gotten away with it until my 40's, I was essentially in the clear.  So why on earth did I stop my "no/never public speaking EVER" streak??  Because I knew if I was going to live my Best Life, I at least needed to conquer my biggest fear.  So I said "yes".  Long story short, I ended up public speaking FOUR different times... one of them was on a stage, mic'd, in front of about 400 people in San Francisco.  Whaaaa?  Who am I?  But guess what?  I didn't die even one time.  I did it.  Was I perfect?  Nope.  Does that matter to me as much as it would've before?  Nope.  I did well, I was authentic, and I helped people.  My personality type is also a perfectionist, so that was tough for me, trust me.  The old me would've beaten myself up for every piece that wasn't perfect.  When it became not about me anymore, and about the people I could potentially help, I was able to succeed.  Do I want to become a public speaker from now on?  Nope.  But at least I'm confident that I'll no longer have that paralyzing fear if I'm ever asked to do it from here on out, and that feels pretty awesome.  What fear is holding you back from living your Best Life?  Maybe it's time you made it a goal to conquer it once and for all.  Take it from me... it's never too late.
5. GO FOR IT.  What would your life look like if you were living your Best Life today?  What areas of your life would need to change in order to get from here... to there?  I'm a firm believer that when there's a will, there's a way.  You just need to find your will, do the work, and the way will present itself as clear as the yellow brick road.  Make sure you click the link above to my post on the Law of Attraction.  It might just be the most important piece.  We aren't meant to be mediocre.  It's why that feeling is unsettling to us.  Don't be okay with being complacent.  Don't get lazy.  Don't be too hard on yourself... but be too hard on yourself!  Yes, you read that right.  There are times for both.  Don't compare yourself to others, learn to accept YOU for your unique awesome-ness, get over yourself.... then kick your own butt!  Push yourself to be better than before!  No one is going to show up at your door one day and say "Here!  I found your Best Life for you...here you go!"  It's up to you.  You have to want it.  You have to decide you're worth it.  You have to create it for yourself.   It's never too late to GO FOR that thing that you know is inside you, just waiting to be great!

I hope this inspired you in some way.  I'd LOVE to hear from you.  If any of this resonates with you, I hope you give these things a try.  Tag me on social media or comment below... and let me know how you're making changes to live YOUR Best Life.  

This quote was sent to me a while back by an old friend who has known me for a long time.  I love it so much because it resonates with me more than you know.  I want it to resonate with you too;)  Here's to living your Best Life.