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Gratitude over Grief

November 28, 2017 Shannon Taatjes
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Today I woke up grateful.  That hasn't been the case on many mornings over the past couple of months.

I haven't written lately because I wasn't ready to write about this until now.  If you read my usual posts they are motivating, upbeat, with that Happy WifeStyle vibe.....and then my brother Justin died.  

It was my first.  My first real loss.  My first time experiencing that level of grief and sadness at my core.  It was foreign to me.  No matter what the circumstance, the loss of a sibling...especially your only sibling...is a loss of a part of you.  I've never lived a day on this earth without him.  Even when he wasn't there in person, he was there in the background of my life ...my rock ...my protector ...my big brother who taught me so much.

I'd wonder... how do I write inspiring words for you when I'm crying and grieving?  I've never forced my writing or my posts.  If I'm not feeling authentic, I know that comes across, so I just decided to take a beat and heal.  I decided to let it happen and unfold instead of hiding the fact that I was really really sad.  I knew I'd come out the other side of this and tell you about it when I was ready, but also knew that I had to follow my heart and go through this thing called grief... 

I'm writing this now for the same reason I write many of my posts.  I wanted to be honest with you about where I've been.  I feel like my truth about this could help someone.  Throughout this process, it's helped so much to feel a sense of understanding from others who have gone through it before so maybe this can do that for someone else.  Everyone experiences grief differently, there's no right or wrong.  I knew that I needed to be true to myself and let it happen in its own time.  It can't be forced or rushed.  Time truly is the only thing that heals.  I'm finally feeling a bit normal again, like I can take a deep breath.

Some honest things I experienced throughout the process....

-- For the first two weeks I found it difficult to do "normal things".  I had this overwhelming feeling that the moment I did something routine or normal...that he'd be forgotten.  I knew it wasn't logical, but it was real and felt paralyzing. 

-- I usually feel pretty "in control" of my emotions so this felt scary to me...to not feel able to contain my sadness.  I kept waiting for it to pass.  I found myself counting the days...waiting.  I recall crying every day for the first 13 days, then I didn't cry for 3 days in a row and thinking it was "over".  Boy was I wrong.  Emotion would come at any time, randomly.  ...In the grocery store, in the middle of the night... I finally just gave myself a break and let it come and go.  

-- I screamed at the top of my lungs in the car a time or two where no one could hear me just to get a sense of release because the emotions inside me were just too much.  It helped.

-- I kept forgetting he was really gone.  It would hit me all over again.  I'd think, I'll have to show that photo to Justin.....oh yeah, he's gone.  He's really gone.

-- I'd never experienced the level of sadness where it literally felt like someone was squeezing my throat.  I guess it's the true sensation of being "choked up".  I always thought it was just an expression...now I get it.  When it would come over me, my throat would feel like it was closing to the point I could literally hear it squeak.  It's the strangest sensation and it still happens from time to time.

-- The stages of grief were not linear for me.  They skipped around randomly.

-- I got frustrated at times because I wanted to move on faster.  I had things to do.  The minute I thought I was on the other side of it, it would hit me again...and again.  I listened to books like Option B.  It helped some, but I finally had to come to terms with the fact I couldn't white knuckle my way through this one.  Grief takes time.

-- I felt him with me at times and didn't fight that.  I had to make all of the end of life decisions and plans, which was really tough on me.  I know at times he was guiding me and helping me know what to do.....through music, a way in which he'd know I'd know it was him.  I found so much comfort in that.

-- I accepted help.  I'm one who usually doesn't feel comfortable accepting help from others.  I knew better because I knew I needed it.  This is something I couldn't do alone.  I've never felt more supported and the generosity that surrounded me during this time has been astonishing.  I may have lost a big brother, but I gained a big sister.  One of Justin's first friends has helped me more than she'll ever know.  Thank you Susan for literally holding my hand through this.  (Susan wrote a beautiful tribute to Justin here if you'd like to read it.)

-- I learned that unless you've truly experienced grief, you cannot truly understand it....and that's okay.  I'm grateful I went 45 years without ever knowing it.  I felt guilty for times in the past for thinking others who'd lost someone weren't getting over it fast enough.  I'll never think that again.  I'll be supportive instead.

-- I had no idea just how draining emotional fatigue could be.

-- I understand now that grief isn't something you get over.  It becomes a part of you, you absorb it and the pain fades over time.  I don't feel like I'll ever be the same as I was before the news.  Not good, not bad, just changed.

-- I feel like I can support others so much better now that experience loss.  I couldn't do that before.  I thought I could, but now I know I couldn't.  ....and that's okay. 

So what now?

I keep going.  I keep working.  I keep moving forward.  I stay true to my heart.  I keep trying to be an inspiration to you.  I appreciate that intense feeling of loss...because that means I felt love.  I keep loving.

Loss and grief are a normal part of life.  We are wired for it, but it doesn't make it easy.  I let it take its course but I won't let it define me.  Even throughout the grief, I knew I'd come out the other side just fine ...a little bit stronger than before.  I knew acceptance would arrive in its own time.  I have a life I'm so grateful for and I plan to live it to the fullest.  

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This process made me more honest.  Some really good things happened because of it.  It brought people together that would have never been brought together otherwise.  It opened old connections.  I had a conversation with my mom that took 45 years to have...it took all my courage and Justin would be so happy we finally had it.  That conversation was one he never got to have, so I had to do it for the both of us.  I did it for me....but I also did it for him.  I used to be really good at hiding the pain of growing up with an alcoholic father and pretending I was just fine.  I'm ready to be more honest about it because it's made me who I am today.  I know it's given me a silent strength that I wouldn't have otherwise.  It's absolutely exhausting to carry a heavy secret like that as a child and to have to experience grown up problems when you're still just a child.  I'm so grateful Justin and I got to talk about some of those times and truly understand one another before he was gone....that bonded us like never before and I'm so thankful for that.   

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I feel grateful I got to have had Justin as my big brother.  He was protective of me.  He was my safe place when I was young.  He taught me about good music at a young age.  He saw the good in everyone.  He was a feeler.  He was a leader.  People were drawn to him.  His smile was contagious.  He was an innate talent.  He was a great writer.  He was a mentor to many in the art world.  He was a giver.  He told those he loved that he loved them.  He had a way about him that made each person in his life feel like they were the most special person to him.  He loved teaching troubled kids about art.  He traveled.  He lived his life.  He left a legacy that will be remembered.  He was loved by a lot of people, far and wide.

Below is the video I made for his Memorial in Malibu...it was a beautiful day.  This is for you Justin.  I love you.  You are missed.

Everyone who attended Justin's memorial got to choose one of his paintbrushes to take home.  These are the ones that are displayed in vases in my home now...I'll cherish them always.

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I found a way to keep Justin close to my heart forever and always...

I found a way to keep Justin close to my heart forever and always...

Thanks for reading.  xo

In Family & Home Tags happy wifestyle, grief, gratitude, acceptance, stages of grief, loss of a sibling
11 Comments

Benefits of Using a Diffuser

February 21, 2017 Shannon Taatjes

Last year I started cleaning up my act in new ways besides just nutrition.  I started my Safe Product Movement where I encouraged you to start learning how to detox your home.  Since then I have made so many healthy changes.

I was one of those who would buy all the fragranced candles at Target.  While I enjoyed the scent, I started to learn more about just how toxic they can be.  So I learned more about making a healthier switch....

My most recent switch was getting an aromatherapy diffuser for my home.  I'd heard they had healthy benefits, but every time I saw one I was honestly put off by how ugly they were.  Until I came across this bamboo one....

It has mood lights too which I thought would be kinda cheesy when I picked it out, but I now love the colors!  It's so pretty and completely customizable.  You can set the color, have the colors rotate, or turn it off which I do at night.

You can also set the diffuser to fit your needs.  It can be continuous or intermittent and shuts off automatically.  I love using essential oils that fit my mood and needs.  When I'm wanting to freshen my home, I love Lemon or Peppermint.  I love using lavender at night and it's helping me sleep really well!  When we were sick recently, I used "Breathe" by DoTERRA while we slept and it really helped our sinuses and respiration.

I decided to share this pretty Bamboo Diffuser with you because after posting this video on Instagram stories, I got SO many messages asking me about it!

Here are some of the BENEFITS of using a Diffuser in your home and some essential oils to try for certain purposes:

  1. SAFER alternative to some candles and incense for your family and pets - any
  2. Freshens the home - lemon, peppermint, any you like
  3. Purifies the air - tea tree, sage, rosemary, grapefruit, lemon, thyme
  4. Can help with relaxation and sleep - chamomile, lavender, clary sage
  5. Can help elevate mood - lemon, sweet orange, jasmine, rose, scotch pine, sandalwood, vanilla
  6. Can help you breathe easier - rosemary, lemon, eucalyptus, peppermint
  7. Can help with Pain Relief - ginger, chamomile, lavender, eucalyptus, clary sage, rosemary, bergamot
  8. Can help your immune system - tea tree, sage, rosemary, grapefruit, lemon, thyme or DoTERRA "On Guard"
  9. Can help improve cognitive function - peppermint, eucalyptus, lemon
  10. Can help repel insects - clove, lemongrass, rosemary, cedarwood

I love my diffuser and use it during the day....and at night!  I love that it's another holistic addition to my healthy lifestyle.  If you give it a try I'd love to hear how you like it!  Comment below with how you like it, how you use it, and any oils you love!

What a great gift idea!  You could give a loved one this beautiful Bamboo Diffuser and a great starter essential oils set with scents like Lavender, lemon, tea tree and peppermint!  If you're looking for specialty essential oils or blends, feel free to ask as I have some friends who sell essential oils and can point you in a direction to get help choosing some.

Want more tips to Detox you home?  I'll send you my "15 Tips to Detox Your Home"!  Get your printable PDF HERE!

Learn more about making the switch to the SAFER, high performing skin care and makeup that I use and love HERE! 

In Family & Home, Health & Fitness Tags diffuser, diffuser benefits, essential oils, holistic lifestyle, happy wifestyle, healthy wifestyle, healthy lifestyle
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A Grateful Heart...

November 13, 2016 Shannon Taatjes

My husband always tells me the first impression I made on him that really stood out as different from other women...  I was happy.

Sure, I know what you're probably thinking.  Yeah, right.  That's the FIRST thing?  I'm not saying it was the first thing he noticed....we all know what visual beings men are.  I'm saying it was the first impression.

The first time he told me that he could tell I was happy, I was completely confused.  How could he possibly have seen that in me when I didn't see that in myself?  

I think back to that time in my life and I was such a hot mess.  I was in a job I'd been at for a decade and a half, living paycheck to paycheck.  I lived alone and felt unfulfilled.  I'd chosen bad relationships with the wrong men.  In my mind I didn't feel happy.  

What I know now is that I felt unsettled.  I felt insecure.  I felt restless.  I had a little voice in my head telling me every day that I wasn't living up to my full potential.  What I know now is just because my life wasn't anywhere near where I thought it would be at 31 years old...didn't make me an unhappy person.  I'd always been optimistic.  I just saw no way out of my current situation.  I hadn't yet learned to get out of my own way.  

One thing that helped me change my life was taking responsibility for my life.  I quit blaming others for my current situation, which is the easy way out.  We get really good at blaming others.  I could have just settled for my unsettled life.  I could have blamed my parents for not giving me more guidance.  I could have blamed my boss for not paying me more money.  I could have blamed it on my weaknesses.  I could have blamed just about anyone or anything, because I THOUGHT I was doing everything I could...I was working hard.

But was I?  When I look back now, I think hell no.  Sure, I worked at my job.  I was extremely good at it.  I did what was expected of me.  I felt like I didn't have any extra time in my day to change my life.  I was stuck.  I felt I had no control.  My life was just happening to me.  So. Many. Excuses.  I was full of excuses back then.

One thing that had changed shortly before that day I met my husband was I had been really working on ME.  I was searching for SOMETHING.  I was reading more books.  I was learning to focus on gratitude.  I was learning ways to take control of my life.  I was learning I was worthy.  I was learning that if I wanted my life to change, it had to start with ME.  After all, the only person we can control is ourselves.  That small shift, even though I didn't know how my life could get better....BELIEVING that it could...and would, changed everything for me.

Fast forward to now.... there are days when I can just be driving down the road, by myself, and I'll smile.  I smile because I'm happy.  I'm very aware of my happiness today.  I'm so grateful that I have the life that I do.  I'm grateful that I have the amazing, loving, supportive husband that I do.  I'm grateful that I get to live where I do.  I'm grateful for my health.  I'm grateful for my ambition.  I'm grateful for my positive friends.  I'm grateful I found my creative outlet.  I'm grateful I get to help others.  I'm grateful that I didn't settle for less.

I never take my life for granted.  As a young child I was extremely unhappy.  That unhappiness was true.  I never felt security as a child and was anxious all the time.  I had an unstable childhood, was extremely introverted, and was fearful of everything.  My parents would take me to a psychiatrist as a child because they didn't know why I was so unhappy.  They'd prescribe me valium, which I'd refuse to take.  I knew that wasn't the answer, even at a young age. 

Instead of dwelling on any of those times, today I choose to focus on gratitude.  When we focus on the things we are grateful for, we cannot focus on anything negative.  It also brings more and more things we want into our lives.  Gratitude has been the key for me.  Every morning I start my day with gratitude.  I start my day with my 5 Minute Journal to make sure I focus on 3 things I'm grateful for and 3 things I'll do that day to make it great.  They also have an app so I can use it on the go.  

Happiness is a decision.  Having a grateful heart can be the key to getting there.  

Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get what you want in life.  If you want it bad enough, you'll make it work.  If you don't want it bad enough, you'll make excuses.  

This blog post was inspired by all that is going on in our country today with the recent election.  While I refuse to get political, because honestly, I don't think there was a good choice in either candidate, I will say this... I'm disappointed at all the spewing negativity in the streets and in my newsfeed.  Is that really making the world a better place?...or is that feeding the fire?  I don't have time for negativity in my life anymore.  Be the solution.  STOP blaming others.  The only person you can control is yourself.  I encourage you to stop focusing on others and start focusing on yourself.  What can YOU do to make the world a better place?  Go do that.  Stop the hate.  Stop the unkind words.  Stop the judgement...everyone has their own story and you might not know what that is.  Help others.  Lead by example.  Be grateful.

-Other blog posts you might enjoy:  The Law of Attraction -- 5 Steps to Choosing Your Best Life -- Are You a Hero...

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In Blogging & Work-Life, Family & Home Tags gratitude, grateful heart, law of attraction, change your life
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5 Steps to choosing Your Best Life

January 16, 2016 Shannon Taatjes

Are you living your Best Life?  I was nowhere near living my Best Life, even just a couple of years ago.  I want to share with you how I got from there... to here, on the path to living my Best Life. 

I spent so much of my life paralyzed In fear.  Standing still.  Not changing.  

I finally found myself wondering how I got here?  Why wasn't my life as awesome as I knew it should be?  Why weren't things going my way?  Why wasn't I lucky?

One day it hit me.  I was settling for everything in my life.  I was letting life happen to me.

About 15 years ago, when I started learning about the Law of Attraction, it helped me understand why my life looked the way it did.  I did that.  That was on me.  It became so clear to me why my life looked the way it did.  Once I realized that I created the life I had then, I knew I had the power to create the life I wanted.  ...but I was going to have to make some changes.

I want to share the 5 steps that really helped me to turn my life around.  I think they can help you too.

5 STEPS TO CHOOSING YOUR BEST LIFE:

  1. STOP BEING A VICTIM.  I put this one first for a reason.  You can't really move on to the other steps until you accomplish step 1.  Maybe you weren't dealt the best cards in life...I certainly wasn't.  Some of the most amazing people I know weren't...but that isn't what stops you from success.  What stops you from success is not owning up and taking responsibility for YOU.  Don't get caught up in blaming others for your life.  Even though it may start out that way, YOU get to choose if you stay there... or change.  I used to let my past, or my current situation, define who I was.  You have to change your story.  What's possible?  Just because you started out at point A....doesn't mean you have to reside at point A your entire life.  Think of all the places life could take you, if you just broke free from that victim mentality.  Take responsibility for your life and know that you have the power to change it...improve it.  Once you do, trust me, your life will change.  Think for a moment.... what might me holding you back?
  2. START FOCUSING ON YOUR STRENGTHS.  This was a big one for me.  I used to spend so much time focusing on my weaknesses, that I couldn't even begin to see my strengths.  I'm quite introverted and I used to see that as such a weakness.  I spent so much time wishing I could change that one thing about myself that it consumed me.  It took that desire to change...accomplishing step 1... to finally turn that weakness into a strength.  I started learning more about myself.  I took a Myers Briggs personality test and I learned that I'm a strong INFP, which is only 4% of the population.  It helped me so much to learn more about what my strengths and weaknesses are.  When I spoke to the expert on the phone after she evaluated me, she said she loves getting results that are so confirmed and definite.  She said, "I hope you're an entrepreneur...if not, you should be."  I was so happy to know I'm finally on the right path in my lifeI learned that while I may be a strong introverted "feeler", I also do have an extroverted side.  I'm an extroverted "intuitive".  I have a very strong intuition, or "sixth sense" for knowing what others need. Turns out I have a very strong creative quality too.  She explained that I love helping others, I have extremely strong values, and I'm happiest when I'm trying to make the world a better place.  Princess Diana, Johnny Depp...and many authors like J.K. Rowling, J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Virginia Woolf, Orwell and Shakespeare are all on this list.  I'm pretty okay with my personality traits now that I know what good company I'm in;)   I also learned more about my weaknesses so that I'm aware of them.  I learned that cleaning is mundane to me and organization is not my forte.  Yep, the test pretty much nailed me.  She explained that you don't necessarily have to change your weaknesses, but being more aware of them helps us know where we need to fill in the gaps and get help.  We can't be all the things!  These are the things I need to learn to delegate.  (Yep, the personality test gave me permission to get a housekeeper without guilt, LOL....and a bookkeeper)  This will help me know the team I need to build around me to have success because I'm good at some things, and not good at others.  Taking a personality test not only helped me realize my strengths and understand my weaknesses, it helped me understand myself, accept myself.  Am I still an introvert?  Absolutely.  The difference is... today I wouldn't change that quality about myself for the world.  I told you my story in this section to help you see that what we need to gain is CONFIDENCE.  What are you good at?  What do you do in your spare time that excites you and makes you feel alive?  What do you know a lot about?  We all have strengths... something to give.  Focus on your strengths and quit allowing your weaknesses to hold you back from being great!  When you do this, you just might find your purpose in life!
  3.  LEARN TO SET GOALS.  This is key.  This step cannot be skipped if you want to have success and live your Best Life.  There is a right way and wrong way to set goals.  Don't get me wrong, setting any goal is better than not setting one, but if we know how set goals correctly, we'll have more success.  I've actually already written "How to Set Goals in 5 Simple Steps"...so I'll let you read that post to learn more about the "how to".  The important thing to know is, without goals, you can't have success.  It's like setting off on a roadtrip without a destination.  Unless you want to drive around aimlessly, letting life happen to you, you need to set specific goals.  Trust me on this.  We truly can achieve anything we put our mind to, but we need a plan to get there.
  4. FACE YOUR FEAR.  Many people never get past this one.  Everyone is afraid of something.  That something is failure for many people.  We've all seen the quote, right?  "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?"  Remember when you were a kid and you had all of these hopes and dreams of what you wanted to do in your life?  What happened to those?  Where'd those dreams go?  I was actually a terrified child... pretty much afraid of my own shadow, but I still had hopes and dreams inside me.  Even as I became a young adult going to work every day for someone else... I had this little voice inside my head telling me "You should be doing more."  I had settled for the job I had.  I'd backed into that career.  I happened to be great at it.  Even though I was great at it, does that mean I needed to stay great at it for 17 years?  Yep, that's how long I stayed...with that little voice nagging me every single day.  I faced a big fear when I started my blog in 2014.  I had no idea what I was doing when I started, I just knew I was on the right path by how happy it made me feel.  That voice was finally quiet.  2015 was my year of "YES".  I decided that in order to grow, I needed to start facing my fears.  Fears that I knew had held me back from living my Best Life.  I told myself that in 2015, when something came along that I would normally say "no" to.... I'd say "yes" and figure it out.  No more taking the easy road.  Like many people, my biggest fear is public speaking.  I'd gone to great lengths to avoid it my entire life.  There were even times in high school when I took a lower grade just so I didn't have to face it.  I'd gotten away with it until my 40's, I was essentially in the clear.  So why on earth did I stop my "no/never public speaking EVER" streak??  Because I knew if I was going to live my Best Life, I at least needed to conquer my biggest fear.  So I said "yes".  Long story short, I ended up public speaking FOUR different times... one of them was on a stage, mic'd, in front of about 400 people in San Francisco.  Whaaaa?  Who am I?  But guess what?  I didn't die even one time.  I did it.  Was I perfect?  Nope.  Does that matter to me as much as it would've before?  Nope.  I did well, I was authentic, and I helped people.  My personality type is also a perfectionist, so that was tough for me, trust me.  The old me would've beaten myself up for every piece that wasn't perfect.  When it became not about me anymore, and about the people I could potentially help, I was able to succeed.  Do I want to become a public speaker from now on?  Nope.  But at least I'm confident that I'll no longer have that paralyzing fear if I'm ever asked to do it from here on out, and that feels pretty awesome.  What fear is holding you back from living your Best Life?  Maybe it's time you made it a goal to conquer it once and for all.  Take it from me... it's never too late.
  5. GO FOR IT.  What would your life look like if you were living your Best Life today?  What areas of your life would need to change in order to get from here... to there?  I'm a firm believer that when there's a will, there's a way.  You just need to find your will, do the work, and the way will present itself as clear as the yellow brick road.  Make sure you click the link above to my post on the Law of Attraction.  It might just be the most important piece.  We aren't meant to be mediocre.  It's why that feeling is unsettling to us.  Don't be okay with being complacent.  Don't get lazy.  Don't be too hard on yourself... but be too hard on yourself!  Yes, you read that right.  There are times for both.  Don't compare yourself to others, learn to accept YOU for your unique awesome-ness, get over yourself.... then kick your own butt!  Push yourself to be better than before!  No one is going to show up at your door one day and say "Here!  I found your Best Life for you...here you go!"  It's up to you.  You have to want it.  You have to decide you're worth it.  You have to create it for yourself.   It's never too late to GO FOR that thing that you know is inside you, just waiting to be great!

I hope this inspired you in some way.  I'd LOVE to hear from you.  If any of this resonates with you, I hope you give these things a try.  Tag me on social media or comment below... and let me know how you're making changes to live YOUR Best Life.  

This quote was sent to me a while back by an old friend who has known me for a long time.  I love it so much because it resonates with me more than you know.  I want it to resonate with you too;)  Here's to living your Best Life.

In Blogging & Work-Life, Family & Home Tags law of attraction, victim, goals, fear, success, best life
5 Comments

Safe Product Movement

January 13, 2016 Shannon Taatjes

I'm starting a movement and I need your help!  

Are you ready to clean up your act?  I am. This is the year I'm finally opening my eyes to the truth about what's really in our products we use every day.  

Since this is going to be a new journey for me, I thought it would be fun to take you along with me and get everyone involved!  Why?  Because as we all start cleaning up our act together, we can share the products we love and why!  We all want to be safe, but we also want products that are going to perform.  We can help one another find cleaner, safer products that work the way we need them to.  Join this movement with me!

Now, before we go any further, I want to point one thing out.  I don't want you going down the rabbit hole on this!  Don't let it consume you.  The point is to just do better.  We cannot be perfect and I'm not asking you to be.  Let's just be aware and when we can choose a safer product....make the switch!  ...Okay, now we can move on.

Here's what we can do to help each other... 

  1. Download the Skin Deep App to start checking your products like make up, skin care, lotions, toothpaste, deodorant, and shampoo to see how they score.  Let's aim for products that have a "low" hazard score of 1 or 2.  What this means is it has a low hazard for health concerns like Cancer, Developmental/Reprotoxicity, and Allergies.   Get your kids involved and make it fun!  Decide where you need to make improvements.  You don't need to do it all at once, the key is to start paying closer attention to your products and what's really in them.  
  2. Start switching out your current products that score a "moderate" to "high" hazard score (unsafe) to new products that ARE safe.  If you find a product with a low score that you love...and works well...I want to hear from you so we can all know about it!  Share your switch by posting it on Instagram or social media of your choice with the hashtag #safeproductmovement so others can search and see all the safer products that people have already tried out and love!  This will be a great way to get recommendations!  Let's say someone is looking for a new safer sunscreen for their family.... they can search the hashtag to find one that maybe someone has already tried and loves!  I will also have a Pinterest Board called Safe Product Movement where I will share mine and yours!
  3. Spread the word!  Tell everyone you know you have joined the Safe Product Movement!  Share this post with them to show them how it works.  First, it will help more people get safer products into their homes.  Second, it will help more people find high performing safe products because more people will be sharing their "switches"!  

Decide for yourself how quickly you want to make "switches".  Maybe you're the kind of person who will throw out all of the unsafe products at once.  Maybe you plan to make one healthy switch per week.  Not all products are in the EWG Skin Deep Database, but as we search products it tells them what products are being scanned and searched...so they are adding new info all the time to their database.  Just do the best you can.  Use your common sense and if you're unsure, call the company or do some online research about the brand.  

One ingredient I want to mention is "Fragrance".  This is an ingredient to AVOID.  There can be dozens to hundreds of chemicals legally hidden in this word that are linked to birth defects, breast cancer, diabetes, obesity, autism, and ADHD.  Any chemical that a manufacturer doesn't want to disclose, they can just hide it under that one dangerous word... "Fragrance".  Pretty messed up, huh?  Instead look for "frangrance-free" or essential oils are okay.

I'm calling this a "Movement" because things need to change in this country.  There are 1400 toxic ingredients that have been banned from products in Europe.  There have only been ELEVEN ingredients that have been banned from products in the U.S.  The last time Congress passed a law regulating the cosmetics industry was 1938.  Not okay.  It's up to us to make a change in our homes, for our families.  If you're looking for a skin care and cosmetic line that is known to be safe, read my page here about why I chose this one.  I love that by choosing products from this company, I don't even have to spend time checking...I know it's safe.  Time saver;)

I'm SO excited to start seeing your "switches"!!  Like I said, I need your help so please get involved and SHARE, SHARE, SHARE!  I've already made skin care switches, toothpaste switch and counter spray switch.  I'll post them soon!  Share your switches and share this message!  Thanks everyone, let's make a difference!

These are the kinds of things you'll see me posting on social media...


As you can see in the EWG Skin Deep app, the score on the Colgate just isn't okay with me anymore.  I've been putting ingredients that only "moderately" cause cancer directly onto my gums twice a day?  That's going right into our bloodstre…

As you can see in the EWG Skin Deep app, the score on the Colgate just isn't okay with me anymore.  I've been putting ingredients that only "moderately" cause cancer directly onto my gums twice a day?  That's going right into our bloodstream!  Not okay.  Make a "switch" to a safer product for your family.  I feel so much better now every time I brush now that I've switched.  Toothpaste may be something you may not remember to switch, so check yours!

Now, I've heard that Colgate actually owns Tom's now....I heard that from some of you after posting this on Instagram.   I want you to know that that's not the part that concerns me.  All I'm focusing on is making better choices, safer choices. 

In Family & Home, Beauty & Products Tags safe product movement
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What I'm focusing on in October

October 1, 2015 Shannon Taatjes

It is October 1st today and it always feels like a new beginning when a new season is upon us.  I happen to love Fall because it brings the best feelings with it.  I get so excited about the holiday season approaching, layers, sweaters, boots & everything Fall fashion, snuggling up with a cup of tea and a good book.... so many things that illicit that feeling of Fall.  Now, I live in California so we don't get a huge change in seasons, but I still love it just the same.

You know how much I love a 30 Day Discipline, but this month I'm not doing a strict challenge...but instead I am focusing on a couple of things this month that I want to share with you.  Simplifying my life....and Gratitude.  

I recently read Marie Kondo's  bestselling book "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" and I must admit, I'm excited about putting what I've learned to use. I'll admit, clutter is the bane of my existence.  Especially paper.  I hate mail.  I hate filing.  I've run out of filing space.  So guess what?  It piles up.  My "piles" are organized and I know where everything is, but it's just too much stuff!  I've attempted different systems that haven't worked for me.  It causes stress when I look at it because I know I need to find a solution....but didn't know how.  Until now...

As soon as I started reading this book, it made so much sense to me why I'd been "rebounding", as she calls it.  It seemed like every time I got my house cleaned up...it would be a mess again in no time.  Now I understand why.  I've never completely decluttered before putting things away.  The areas of my home that don't get cluttered and stay clean are my living room and my kitchen.  There are not too many items and they all have their place.  My closets and my paperwork is a different story...but not for long because now I have a plan of attack.

I used to think it was a storage problem.  There seems to be a storage solution for everything  these days.  I walked into the Container Store once and left because I was too overwhelmed and didn't know where to start.  We even got our master closet completely redone with all the fancy organizers....and I still can't keep it organized for long.  Marie Kondo explains that you must declutter first, by category, in a particular order.  There's a method to her madness that makes sense.  She claims that if you follow her method, you will be free of clutter... forever.

She explains how tidying by category, not location, works like magic and explains exactly what to do.  Once you declutter all the categories, then and only then do you find an appropriate place for everything... and you don't need any fancy storage containers to do it!

By following her very specific tidying order, you get better at discarding as you go.  Have you ever attempted decluttering only to find yourself sitting in the same spot, hours later, looking at old photos...taking a trip down memory lane instead of getting anything done?!  I have!  With her tidying order, by the time you get to those items....you'll be so good at decluttering you'll be tossing stuff out left and right!

She wants you to only keep items in your home that spark joy.  Everything else goes.  She says that her clients have never rebounded once their homes are tidied with this method.  They live in a state of calm, relaxation and joy...because their house is in order.

My husband and I have begun putting this book to the test.  We have both read it and are BOTH equally excited to simplify our life.  The first category is clothing, namely tops.  I cannot even tell you how many items we are discarding...a LOT.   I'll keep you posted on how things are going...I'm excited.

The next thing I am going to focus on this month is Gratitude.  I'm going to make a conscious effort to feel grateful for all of the amazing things in my life.  It's easy to slip into a place where we take things for granted and I'm going to pay more attention and remember to appreciate them and show my gratitude daily.  If you try this, you'll start seeing your life truly change for the better.  By FEELING gratitude, it's one of the fastest way to put the Law of Attraction into motion...and things will start showing up in your life.  Now remember, you cannot show gratitude while expecting something in return.  Just truly appreciate and feel how that FEELS.  (click on the link above to read my post and learn more about Law of Attraction.)

You can do this in different ways.  You can send a thank you card.  I keep a stack of cute plain Thank You card on my desk to remind me to send them to people I appreciate.  Yes, it means so much more to take the time to hand write it and send it snail mail!  You can also try keeping a gratitude journal and writing a few things in it daily you are grateful for.  They can be big or small...as simple as "I feel grateful for my health today."  "I feel grateful for my amazing friends in my life."  "I feel grateful for the food I have to eat."  Whatever you are feeling.  When you start your day this way, it can change the outcome of your entire day.  

What are you focusing on this month?  Does this inspire you to choose something?  Anything?  I hope so.  It's important to be working toward something and growing.  The goal isn't to be better than anyone else.  The goal is to be better than we were yesterday.  Happy October!  

I HIGHLY recommend the book "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up".  My husband even loved it.  Get your copy, grab a cup of tea and a blanket, and join me on your way to a more joyful home.

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Hi friends!  I'm Shannon and WELCOME to my health + lifestyle blog.  I often found myself being asked about things like nutrition, health, and fashion...so I decided to start sharing...and Happy WifeStyle™ was born in 2014. Sharing led to inspiring people...inspiring people has led to coaching...and now I've turned my little blog into a business and I couldn't imagine doing anything else.  I hope to inspire you to live your happiest, most nutritious life.  I hope to empower you to know that you can do anything you set your mind to.  If I can do it, you can do it.  Thanks for stopping by and feel free to introduce yourself!

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