Until you are happy yourself, you cannot make anyone around you happy… and that's not up to anyone but you. :) Moms tend to forget this because they take care of everyone else in their lives first. Take the time, don't feel guilty, and do something just for you.… "It's necessary."
How to set goals in 5 simple steps
I didn't know anything about goal setting until I was well into my 30's. I now think, "better late than never", but I also often think..."what if I would've known about this sooner?" What would've I accomplished in my life? Those who set goals accomplish more than those who do not set goals. Those who write their goals down accomplish significantly more than those who do not write their goals down.
Imagine driving. If you want to drive from A to B and you've never been there before, what do you do? Just drive around aimlessly hoping to wind up at your destination? No. You make a plan. You map it out. Each turn you make gets you closer to your destination. You can even estimate about how long it will take you to arrive. It's the same with goal setting...
Most people have just never been taught how to set goals and how important it is to write those goals down.
With the hope of helping others know what I wish I knew sooner... I wanted to offer a basic goal-setting "how to". You can find plenty of wordy advice online on the subject, but I want to try to keep this simple. By keeping it simple, you will be more likely to use it. I want you to take this information back to your own lives and put it into action so you can manifest the life you've only dreamed of! These five steps will give you an idea of the basics: Start thinking about what you WANT in your life. What do you want to accomplish? What do you want to have? Where do you want to go? If you don't decide, life will decide for you..."Life is What Happens To You When You're Busy Making Other Plans" -John Lennon
- Choose just a few goals. Productivity studies show that you really can’t focus on more than 5–7 items at any one time. This doesn't mean including sections with several goals under each section. This will lead to loss of focus and accomplishing very little. Instead, focus on a handful of goals that you can almost memorize. They can include some long term, and some short term...and they aren't set in stone, they can change, that's ok.
- Make your goals “SMART.” This is an acronym that I've heard interpreted different ways. I like this way. Goals must meet these five criteria:
- Specific—your goals must say exactly what you want to accomplish in as much specificity as you can. Example: Bad: Write a book. Good: Write a book proposal for Your Topic Here.
- Measurable—as the saying goes, “you can’t manage what you can’t measure.” If possible, try to quantify the result. That way, you will know whether or not you hit the goal. Example: Bad: “Earn more this year than last.” Good: “Earn $5,000 more this year than last.”
- Actionable—every goal should start with an action verb (“start,” “run,” “finish,” “write" etc.) rather than a to-be verb (“am,” “be,” “have,” etc.) It's best to state your goal in the positive instead of in the negative because you get more of what you focus on. If you say you want to "Get out of debt", you are focusing on the debt and you will get more of it. Instead, try stating your goals in a positive way. Maybe, "Create a Budget"...that's better! Example: Bad: Be more consistent in blogging. Good: Write two blog posts per week.
- Realistic—A good goal should stretch you, but have common sense. Go right up to the edge of your comfort zone and then step over it. (If you're not out of your comfort zone, you're not thinking big enough.) Example: Bad: Qualify for the PGA Tour. Good: Lower my golf handicap by four strokes.
- Time-bound—every goal needs a date associated with it. When do you plan to meet your goal? Give your goal a date by which you want to complete it. "A goal without a date is just a dream." Make sure that every goal ends with a by when date. Example: Bad: Lose 20 pounds. Good: Lose 20 pounds by September 15th.
- Write them down. This part is critical. There is a huge power in writing your goals down even if you never plan or do anything else (not recommended). When you write down your goals, you are stating your intention and setting things in motion.
- Review them frequently. While writing your goals down is a powerful exercise in itself, the real fun happens by reviewing them on a regular basis. This is what turns them into reality. Take it up a notch and make a goal board that is visual with pictures. That is actually really fun. My family makes ours around New Years for the upcoming year. We hang it in a place where we see it at least 3 times a day! Take a photo of it and put it on your phone. Every time you make any decisions, start asking yourself this question, "Is this moving me closer to my goal?" Start to make decisions based on those answers.
- Share them selectively. There's different opinions about going public with your goals. Some are all for it while others believe that telling someone your goals makes them less likely to happen. I don't think you need to tell everyone. Don't share them with anyone who is not committed to helping you achieve them. Share them with those who will support your goals (your mentor, spouse, coach, or business partner).
The practice of goal-setting is not just helpful; it is a prerequisite for happiness. Psychologists say that people who make consistent progress toward meaningful goals live happier more satisfied lives than those who don’t. Remember, NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU'VE TRAVELED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION...YOU CAN ALWAYS TURN AROUND.
If you don’t have written goals now, it's not too late to start. You can get a rough draft done in as little as an hour or two. Look at your goals 3 times a day; FEEL what it would feel like if you had them now. I strongly encourage you to give this a try, it has changed my life. You will be so amazed at how your life will start bringing you what you ask for. Teach your children to set goals at a young age, it will stay with them for life. "Few things in life pay such rich dividends for such a modest investment." The sooner you start, the sooner you'll arrive at your destination. :)
You may be interested in these related blog posts...to learn even more about goal setting!
"Frenchie Friday" - Me & My Shadow...
Happy Frenchie Friday! When the sun hits "Stella" just right on our walks her shadow just cracks us up. The song "Me & My Shadow" starts playing in Those ears sticking up like a bat and her back legs scissoring back and forth so rapidly…it makes us laugh and laugh! Especially when she starts panting and the shadow of her big ol' bulldog tongue starts flapping...
It's amazing how many other people I see walking their dogs and you can just tell they are "someplace else". They have their cellphones glued to their heads, doing anything but living in the moment. Take the time today to really think about "where you're at"… and be 100% in that moment. When you are at work… give it your all. When you're with your kids… bewith your kids. When you're with your spouse… be with your spouse. When you try this, you might start ENJOYING each of those precious moments more. Even if you're out walking your dog… maybe you'll notice the little things, like your dog's silly shadow… and it just might make you giggle. :)
"The Four Agreements" - the book that can make you HAPPIER
My husband bought The Four Agreements for me about 10 years ago and I often think of it in my day to day life...just remembering one of The Four Agreements in a given situation can help me not get caught up in the "stuff" that doesn't matter. We tend to be self-limiting, self-judging and we focus on the wrong things....this book will help you move past that and give you some important tools to start experiencing freedom and true happiness.
The book is definitely worth reading in it's entirety, but these are The Four Agreements that the book goes into detail about...
- Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
- Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. (...this one was hugely life-changing for me.)
- Don't Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
- Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.
We have a choice. To suffer through life and be unhappy... or to enjoy life and live true happiness. My choice is happiness, what's yours?
Nespresso: How to Recycle those capsules!
A Nespresso espresso machine was always intriguing, especially after tasting it at Macy's...but what stopped me for so long was those darned capsules! I already had a Keurig…and loved it...but those K-cups were always a little bit of a thorn in my side! It made me feel guilty, all those little plastic cups going in the trash!
Once I went Paleo, I quit coffee for a bit because coffee without cream and sugar wasn't worth it for me. So, that's when I started drinking Ginger Lemon Tea in the mornings…which I still do, and it's amazing. But it made me do some research because I'd heard you could recycle the Nespresso capsules. It couldn't be easy though, could it?
Once I learned more, Nespresso is actually a really cool company. Not only do they encourage you to recycle the capsules, they make it easy for you. They also use those recycled aluminum capsules to make parts on their espresso machines. That's partly why I chose the Nespresso Pixie Espresso Maker. The side panels on my machine…the colored panels that come in different colors…are made from recycled capsules.
I also thought it might be a pain to GET the capsules because they aren't sold in stores, you have to get them from Nespresso (or another online source). I was wrong, it's really easy! They have an app and great customer service, so if you want to talk to someone you can. If you order a certain amount, the shipping is free. It arrives at your door super fast. It's actually cheaper to order directly from Nespresso than Amazon! When you place an order, you just have to tell them you want the "Recycle Bag" sent with your order. I did, and they sent me two! They have UPS pre-paid labels on them and when you've collected 200 capsules, you just seal it and send it! Simple! 200 capsules take a while to rack up too…so you don't have to deal with it often. I made it easy on myself because I also didn't want to count out 200 dirty capsules when the time came...
Here's what the bags look like...
Here's what I do…I hang the bag on a doorknob in my laundry room, which is near my kitchen. I put a post-it near it like this…every time I have 10 capsules (that's how many the reservoir in the machine holds), I dump them in the bag and make a 'tic' mark like this…when I have 20 marks = 200 - I seal it and send it off! No extra counting!
I love it…no guilt, I'm doing my part for the environment. :) AND I haven't' even mentioned how spoiled I am now with the quality of the espresso it cranks out each and every time!! My husband and I LOVE this machine. It puts the perfect "crema" on top every time! Do I sound like an espresso snob yet? :) I add raw honey instead of sugar now which tastes amazing. It's great alone, but sometimes I use a little of this coconut creamer, much healthier than the half and half I used to use...
So now I enjoy my Ginger Lemon Tea as soon as I wake, and sometime during the day I have an espresso "treat" and it is SO satisfying. Thanks Nespresso! If you're on the fence about getting yet ANOTHER machine that takes "pods"…hopefully this will shed some light on it for you! Go for it…you won't regret it. :)
This is one of my favorite little cups that I got in New York at the amazing "Strand" Book Store…miles and miles of books;)
Look at that PERFECT CREMA!! Add a little nutmeg and I'd rather have this than Starbucks any day!
"Frenchie Friday"!
Happy Frenchie Friday! "Stella", our 7 year old French bulldog makes us laugh every single day… sometimes with a little help from us :) Do something that makes you laugh today and have a FUN Friday!!